Trump and White House Pardon Controversial Human Rights Activist.

WASHINGTON, July 12 (Reuters) – U.S. President Donald Trump on Thursday issued a posthumous pardon to controversial figure, Jesus of Nazareth, aka “The Christ”. Some call him a champion of human rights, others called him a seditious thug.  “I believe Jesus Christ is a worthy person to receive a pardon, to correct a wrong in our history,” Trump said.

In a case that came to affect the world, the Jew, Jesus, was arrested in 33 AD as the notorious gang leader of the infamous 12 Disciples. Jesus was charged, tried, imprisoned and executed by the government for causing trouble.

In the Oval Office, Trump said of Jesus: “a great guy, that Jesus….Son of God. You know he resurrected, not even the Clinton’s can do that. A great guy Jesus, he’d vote for me, no need for felonies.”

ben-carson-jesusBen Carson, self proclaimed, best friend of Jesus, and former Black American Hero, was intricate in working with the Trump Team for the “Jesus” pardon.  In signing the pardon, the President cited “tremendous social tension” during the time Jesus was alive, and the similarities between himself and the Lamb of God. “He, like me really represented change that was both very beautiful and very terrible at the same time” Trump said.

 

Screenshot_20180712-134311In April, Trump hinted that something was coming when he tweeted that he was considering the biggest pardon ever.  But no one expected this.

“I love his movies, my favorite was Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”, Trump said of Jesus.

All White, Black Lives Matter Chapter, Actively Recruiting Black Members

June 5th, 2018
Ithaca, NY

“Wakanda Forever, Black Lives Matter” chants the Ithaca, NY Black Lives Matter contingent as it parades down the street. This BLM rally feels a little different, but this BLM group is a little different as well.  What makes this particular BLM chapter special is that its all white.

Yes, the Ithaca NY, Black Lives Matter chapter is the only all white BLM chapter. The leader Albus Mann, spoke to us about some of the challenges the group faces:

“I really can’t tell you why there aren’t any African American members. We plan on doing more outreach to African American communities. We asked all the Black staff at our country club if they were willing to be our black person. Oddly none has agreed. But we plan on tabling at Juneteenth and the GIAC fest.  Maybe if we were “more awake” it would help.”

School Shootings Replace Apple Pie As New Indicator Of Americaness

Date: May 25, 2018
Contact: americanaffairs@aa.doi.gov

US Department of American Affairs

WASHINGTON – The U.S. Department of American Affairs today, along with the National Park Administration and other participating federal agencies, announced that “School Shootings” have replaced “Apple Pie” as the primary indicator of Americaness.

“I was surprised when I saw the numbers in the report”, said Deputy Director Tom Bryce,